Looking for a pour amount of laughter?
If youāre sipping cocktails, cracking open a cold beer, or raising a glass of wine, drinking jokes are the perfect mix of wit and cheer.
These puns and one-liners are short, sweet, and guaranteed to make you giggle more than a tipsy karaoke night.
So, grab your favorite drink (no judgment here!) and letās toast to humor that goes down smoother than your best cocktail.
Funny Drinking Jokes to Start the Party š¹

- I only drink on two occasions: when itās my birthday and when itās not.
- I told my liver weāre on a āsee-foodā diet⦠it sees drinks, we drink them.
- Alcohol: because no great story ever started with a salad.
- My bar tab and I are in a serious relationshipāitās complicated.
- Cheers to alcoholāthe glue holding awkward social events together.
- Iām not tipsy, Iām just dancing in cursive.
- Water is essential⦠for making coffee, beer, and cocktails.
- Sip happensājust wine about it.
- Drinking responsibly means not spilling it.
- I tried drinking less⦠but my glass kept refilling.
- My blood type? B(eer)+.
- Donāt chase your dreams, chase tequila shots.
- Alcohol doesnāt solve problems⦠but neither does milk.
- Lifeās brew-tiful when youāve got a drink in hand.
- I donāt get drunkāI get less professional.
Hilarious Beer Jokes šŗ
- Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
- My six-pack is hiding behind a beer belly.
- I told my fridge a beer joke⦠now itās stocked with laughter.
- Beer: the cause of and solution to all my problems.
- My favorite workout? Running out of beer.
- Beer makes me hoppy.
- Ale be there for you.
- Brew-tiful things happen after the third pint.
- I donāt get wasted, I get crafty.
- Beer pressure is real.
- IPA: Iām Probably Addicted.
- No beer left behind.
- You canāt buy happiness, but you can buy beerāand thatās close enough.
- Keep calm and lager on.
- My relationship status: full-bodied with a smooth finish.
Wine Puns That Age Well š·

- Stop and smell the rosƩ.
- You had me at merlot.
- Wine a little, laugh a lot.
- Cabernet more fun than this?
- Riesling to the occasion.
- I make pour decisions.
- Wine not?
- Iām grapeful for this drink.
- Youāre the zest, cheers!
- Sip, sip, hooray!
- Iām aging like fine wineāslightly fruity with complex notes.
- RosƩ all day.
- Sauvignon Blanc and strong.
- Letās uncork some fun.
- A day without wine is like⦠just kidding, I have no idea.
Tequila Jokes That Pack a Punch šµ
- Take life with a grain of salt, lime, and tequila.
- Tequila may not be the answer, but itās worth a shot.
- Donāt be saltyāgrab tequila!
- Tequila: turning ānahā into āolĆ©!ā since forever.
- Iām nacho friend until tequilaās involved.
- Lime yours, forever.
- After tequila, even my problems salsa away.
- Friends donāt let friends drink tequila alone.
- Tequila made me do it.
- Shot happens.
- I canāt adult today, pass the tequila.
- Tequila and I go way back⦠to last night.
- If life gives you limes, make margaritas.
- Salt, shot, repeat.
- Tequila: the original liquid courage.
Cocktail Comedy šø

- A balanced diet is a cocktail in each hand.
- Mojito makes everything better.
- Martiniāshaken, not stirred, but always slurred.
- Old Fashioned never goes out of style.
- Daiquiri do you think I am?
- Whiskey sour? More like whiskey sweet.
- Bloody Mary cures more sins than confessions.
- Cosmo is just short for ācosmopolitan chaos.ā
- Margarita Monday > Motivation Monday.
- Gin and bear it.
- Rum away from your problems.
- Moscow Muleākicking hangovers since day one.
- Negroni? More like ne-groovy.
- Sip happens when mixing cocktails.
- Shake it till you make it.
Whiskey Wit š„
- Whiskey business.
- Too much whiskey? Thatās neat.
- My whiskeyās older than my maturity.
- Pour decisions build character.
- Whiskey Wednesday: the best day of the week.
- Scotch on the rocks, feelings off the charts.
- Whiskey fixes everythingātemporarily.
- Single malt, taken heart.
- Bourbon: liquid sunshine.
- Call me Old Fashioned.
- Life on the rocks.
- Irish whiskey: lucky me.
- Rye not?
- Keep your friends close and your whiskey closer.
- Distill my beating heart.
Hangover Humor š¤

- My head hurts, my liver hates me, but my soul is happy.
- Hangovers are the universe charging interest.
- I woke up with amnesia and a bar receipt.
- Aspirin: my brunch date after tequila.
- I feel like a human margaritaāshaken and salted.
- Hangovers prove that fun is expensive.
- Coffee: the morning-after cocktail.
- If you remember last night, did you even party?
- My hangover is hung over.
- Hair of the dog? More like hair of the werewolf.
- I drank to forget⦠now I forgot to stop.
- Hangovers are natureās way of saying āslow down.ā
- My bed is my only true drinking buddy.
- Hangover cure: donāt stop drinking (kidding⦠mostly).
- Woke up feeling like regret in a shot glass.
Drinking with Friends Jokes š¾
- Friends who drink together, think together.
- Alcohol brings us closer⦠to the floor.
- Youāre my partner in wine.
- Iāve got friends in low bars.
- Best friends donāt count drinks, they count memories.
- You + me + beer = forever cheers.
- Friends donāt let friends drink alone.
- Drunk in love⦠with my friends.
- Good times + good wine = good friends.
- My squad runs on cocktails.
- Drinking buddies are soulmates in disguise.
- Weāre proof alcohol increases bonding.
- Where thereās wine, thereās a friend.
- Cheers to nights we wonāt remember with friends weāll never forget.
- Friendship pairs perfectly with any bottle.
Conclusion š¹š
And there you have itā120 hilarious drinking jokes, puns, and one-liners to keep your spirits high and your glasses full.
If youāre a beer lover, a wine enthusiast, or a cocktail connoisseur, these witty quips will keep the laughter flowing.
So next time you raise a glass, remember: sip back, relax, and laugh a little harderālifeās too short for serious drinking!